St Paul’s United Church Sunday, January 2, 2005

Resolving to Forgive – Rev. David Mundy

Psalm 32 Matthew 9:1-8

How are you doing on those New Year’s resolutions? You are either congratulating yourself on getting through the first thirty six hours intact or marvelling at how quickly your resolve was broken. I have noticed that the gym is a very busy place during the month of January and then returns to its regular patterns and the usual faces. Lots of people tell me that they gave up making resolutions years ago to save the disappointment and self-recrimination.

Does it make any sense to make resolutions as Christians? There is nothing in the bible to suggest that we should begin the New Year with the commitment to a personal makeover. Just the same we are encouraged to believe that in Christ we are a new creation, and the Christian life has always involved discipleship.

What would we choose as the people of Christ for our resolutions entering the New Year? How about forgiveness? This year I resolve to forgive. Does this sound like an attainable goal? Through the years of my ministry many people have sought me out to ask about being forgiven and offering forgiveness to others. And my experience is that no other sermon topic elicits more response that messages on the subject of forgiveness. More often than not those who respond are inclined to say that forgiving those who have harmed them has proved to be very difficult even though they know it is what Jesus taught and offered. Some people have expressed anger at the suggestion they forgive, feeling it makes them a victim all over again. And some have admitted living with the crushing weight of guilt because of acts they feel could never be forgiven.

In more recent years I have noticed that forgiveness has become a “growth industry,” if you will forgive that rather flippant description. There are many books on the subject and websites and a flood of magazine articles. There are a number of university research projects which look at the mental and physical health benefits of forgiveness and leave God out of the equation altogether.

If it is really that important, can we resolve to forgive and be forgiven? During the next few Sundays, with the exception of next week when I will be away, we will explore forgiveness in its various facets. We will digress from the lectionary readings to hear a few of the many, many passages on forgiveness in both the New and Old Testaments.

Since forgiveness seems to be much more important in the concrete world of relationships rather than as an abstract concept I will remind you of a powerful story of forgiveness that is fairly recent. A year ago the NHL hockey star Dany Heatley crashed his Ferrari automobile. He sustained serious injuries, but his close friend and teammate Dan Snyder died in the accident. The funeral for Snyder took place in his hometown in Ontario and there were a thousand people on hand for the service, including Heatley, who was on crutches. Dan’s brother Jake spoke to Heatley directly in his emotional eulogy in which he offered forgiveness was extended: “ I’ll look out for you as much as I can, because I know that is exactly what my brother would want.”

Even though this public act of forgiveness was front-page news in several papers little was said about the faith of the Snyder family, who are Mennonites. They are extraordinary people who, despite a terrible loss, are living out the message of forgiveness which we find in scripture.

Of course we weren’t told what the exchange was between the Snyders and Dany Heatley before the funeral and afterward. Did he express remorse for what had happened and was there reconciliation? Would they have been as generous in their forgiveness if Heatley had been unwilling to take responsibility for his actions?

Could we do the same? As a Christian I admire the Snyders and have tried to imagine how forgiving I would be if one of my children died senselessly when someone else was behind the wheel of a car. At times in my life I have felt incapable of forgiving and moving on, something that is not easy to admit as a pastor.

Today’s psalm says “Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered...” We could interpret this to mean that we will be happy if ou wrong-doing is masked or buried by God. But a little later we hear “While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.” Then it appears to be God who says “I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go.” According to these verses it is when wrongdoing is confessed and there is assurance that God forgives that health is restored.

The gospel passage we heard is a story found in three of the four gospels and we can piece the events together by reading all three. Jesus has returned to the village of Capernaum which is the home of the disciple Peter. In Matthew it says that it is Jesus’ hometown but of course Nazareth was his community. Capernaum was probably his base for ministry and people from all around the region gathered there to hear Jesus and to be healed. In the other versions it says that a group of friends brought a paralysed man to the house where Jesus was teaching and used an unusual method for getting through the crowd surrounding him. They made a hole in the roof and lowered their sick friend into Jesus’ presence. To say that this was a dramatic entry is an understatement. Suddenly a person unable to move is lying at Jesus’ feet and the obvious response is to help him walk again.

What does Jesus say? “Take heart, son, your sins are forgiven” Some of the religious authorities who were present were well aware of the spiritual significance of offering forgiveness and they were annoyed that he claimed this authority. We are not told what needed to be forgiven in this man’s life, but we do hear that he was restored to health and was able to walk away.

Do we need to be forgiven and healed and restored? Twenty first century researchers tell us that it really is good for our mental and physical well-being. The stress of the state of “unforgiveness” with its potent mixture of bitterness, and hostility and resentment has physiological consequences which are linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and impaired memory. In other words, not forgiving can make us sick. Isn’t it interesting that 2500 years ago Confucius offered that “If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves.” Jesus got it right as well, when he said “take heart.” Move over Low Carb, it’s time for the Low Anger/ Low Revenge diet.

Of course that gospel story suggest to us that we need to deal with the spiritual on our way to the physical well-being. So how does it happen?

Forgiveness can be unilateral, a one-way street. We can decide to “let go” of injuries that threaten to paralyse us emotionally and spiritually even though the person or persons who inflicted the pain have no intention of seeking reconciliation. Sometimes that’s the only way it can be for a number of reasons.

At the same time we recognize that forgiveness is meant to be a social exchange which involves both parties and involves an apology for the wrong done, and pardon by the one who has been injured or harmed. We can go a step further and say that the deepest form of reconciliation involves three parties, with God as an essential person in what unfolds.

David Augsburger has written a very thoughtful book called Helping People Forgive in which he points out that we use the language of a tangible barter in the process of forgiveness. One “gives” “forgiveness, “offers” forgiveness “receives” forgiveness “accepts” forgiveness. If you’re not sure about the language of barter, consider the Lord’s Prayer, which you repeated earlier in today’s worship: “forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” The Presbyterians word it a little differently: “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

Augsburger also uses the metaphor of bridge-building to point out that effective forgiveness is a process rather than a one-time statement of absolution. To use his words

A bridge must bear weight: forgiveness must hold up under the coming and going of life. A bridge must be connected at both ends; forgiveness must show some measure of movement from both offended and offender. A bridge must join the separated, connect the severed: forgiveness rejoins, reconnects, or constructs a new path. The bridges of human relationship are not easy to build...There’s nothing easy about it, nothing simple, nothing cheap about the grace of renewing broken relationships.

Whatever imagery we use, it is important to realize that in the weightier matters of life, forgiveness is a process that can be learned and developed over time. Some of us are satisfied when we figure out how to put a log across a stream. A very few people develop the engineering skills to build spans across great distances. We are encouraged to do what we are able to do, as we are able, with Christ’s help.

I began this morning by asking you how you are doing on those New Year’s resolutions. Why do we make significant resolutions at the beginning of the year? They are a way of looking to the future with hope. They are a way to “take heart”and to build happiness and contentment.

Resolving to forgive is a commitment to a better future knowing that we are loved and forgiven in Christ. And while our own choices are important there is a strength beyond our own which we can draw on for healing and even for reconciliation.

Our stories of forgiveness will never be front page news, except in our own lives and in our relationship with God. They are no less important. Our resolution today may be to rewrite the story for 2005 so that there may be a more peaceful ending, even if the happiness the psalmist speaks of is not a possibility. At the beginning of this new year we can ask ourselves where we will let go, how we will mend, and what first steps we can take to build bridges.

In his book called Prayer Richard Foster gives his vision of forgiveness which I hope will be a fitting way to conclude this morning.

Forgiveness is a miracle of grace whereby the offense no longer separates. Forgiveness means that we will no longer use the offense to drive a wedge between us, hurting and injuring one another. Forgiveness means that the power of love that holds us together is greater than the power of the offense that separates us. That is forgiveness.

Take heart today. Christ still heals and we can resolve to forgive.