St. Paul’s United Church
Christian Family Sunday, May 13, 2007
Christ’s Love Story – Rev. David Mundy
1 Corinthians 13 John
14:23-29
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They were in church every Sunday morning, this elderly, and we would
greet each other at the door as they left. She often had a warm smile and he
seemed rather reserved as we shook hands. I can’t say that I knew them because
they didn’t stay for the fellowship time after worship.
As is often the case, unfortunately, I did get to know them well when he
became ill with cancer. Her smile was gone the Sunday morning when she asked if
I would come to visit, which I did. It turned out that they were from Cape
Breton and the friendliest, warmhearted people imaginable. What I took for
gruffness on his part was actually shyness. When we were sitting in his living
room first of all and eventually his bedroom, he was more than willing to chat
about years past and his wry views on life today. She was usually there,
chipping in with what turned out to be an earthy Maritime sense of humour. As his health failed, she looked after him.
There was no question about going into a nursing home. She didn’t tell me her
age, although I did find out that she was eighteen at the time of her marriage
and that they had already celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary. She
looked as though she weighed about ninety pounds soaking wet, but she helped
lift him and change him. There was never a word of complaint.
One day their daughter phoned in tears and I assumed that her father had
died. Instead she informed me that her mother had suffered a massive heart
attack and hovered near death in the hospital. During the next week I saw her
in the intensive care unit several times. Some of you know from experience what
these units are like. They are the right place for very sick people to be, but
they are designed for radical medical care rather than solace. I ended up
leaning over a hospital bed trying to make out what she was saying, often
without success.
She would ask the same question each time: “how is Dad?” Almost
to her dying breath she wanted to know how her husband was rather than
expressing any concern about her own well-being. The only fear that she had was
that he wouldn’t have anyone to look after him. I ended up conducting her
funeral just before Christmas and his a few months later, close to Easter.
Is this a love story? There was certainly nothing romantic about the way
this couple related to one another, although the love was undoubtedly there. As
she lay in the bed with tubes everywhere she was anything but a picture of
loveliness. Yet we come to appreciate that passion takes many forms and she was
passionate about him, to the very last.
In ministry one becomes accustomed to the realities of living and dying.
Still, this feeble yet fierce desire to know his condition touched me deeply.
It is in moments such as these that there is a human face to God’s abiding
love.
This is Christian Family Sunday, which annoys some of you to no end
because it is also Mother’s Day and you aren’t impressed by the change of
focus. The good news is that we will all honour our mothers today as one of the
“love stories” which we consider to be essential to
We heard a strange love story in scripture this morning, a passage from
the gospel of John about a bunch of guys who get together for a meal where one
of them talks about love.
John does something unique to his gospel. While the others tell us about
what we call the Last Supper in a chapter or so, John goes on and on about the
“table talk” the conversation Jesus has with his disciples during the Passover
meal which turned out to be his last with them.
Chapter fourteen, the chapter we heard from today, actually begins with
Jesus’ reassurance to his disciples that he won’t leave them, even though he is
about to die. There is the well-known exchange between Jesus and Thomas in
which Thomas admits that he has no idea where Jesus is going. In response to
this Jesus says “I am the way, and the truth and the life . . . ”
He goes on to encourage them to be loving with one another. Actually, he
commands them to love each other, not once but a number of times. Then,
answering another of the disciples, Philip, Jesus says, “those who love me
will keep my word.” Obviously the love that Jesus is speaking about here is
not just affection --“c’mon everybody, group hug!” I would like to think that it is much more
along the lines of no grudges, no manipulation. Be selfless rather than
selfish. Listen to one another and pray for each other. Go the distance, even
when you don’t feel like it.
Of course the gospel of John was written as much as sixty years after
Jesus died, so these words serve as a strong reminder to the early Christian
community that loving one another was more than emotion. It was a radical,
passionate commitment to compassion and care that went beyond the feelings of
the moment.
What is our Christian love story? We talk about love all the time in the
church, although we hardly ever define what we mean by love which is
unfortunate because, thanks to the media we hear about other kinds of love regularly. There are the celebrities who fall
in love and gush in public about adoring one another and then plummet back out
of love, only to do the same a few months later. Have you heard that Brangelina
is on the rocks? Even though we are fascinated to the point of obsession by
this nonsense, surely this isn’t what we consider to be mature love?
The rest of us mere mortals struggle to appreciate what it means to be
in loving relationships. Sadly love is often twisted into something which can
be demeaning and threatening. There is a shelter for women and children who
have left abusive relationships not far from where we are sitting this morning.
My wife Ruth counsels women who are considering leaving relationships where
there is verbal and physical abuse. So often the women tell Ruth “but he
says that he loves me,” as though that justifies violence to body and
spirit. Far too often these women leave for a time, only to return. Some of you
know the song As Long As He Needs Me from the musical Oliver! in
which Nancy declares her loyalty to Bill Sykes, even though he beats her.
This is certainly not healthy, life-giving love.
We have to admit that religion can get in on the act of misguided love.
You may have heard that there is a strong and controversial movement amongst
conservative Christians in the United States that advocates plenty of corporal
punishment –everything from spankings to beatings – as a way of
“Christianizing” children. There have been a couple of incidents of kids dying
because of the severity of the so-called love they were receiving.
I said that we don’t define the love we speak of so often in the church
yet there is a powerful “love passage” which gives us an insight into what
Christian love can be. In a letter to one of the earliest Christian churches
the apostle Paul wrote:
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have
love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as
to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my
possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have
love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient;
love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not
insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in
wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
1
Corinthians 13:1-8a, 13
There is no suggestion here, in any way, that love includes control or
violence. It is a call to a higher good which goes beyond pettiness and
resentment. It is generous and patient and centred in Christ.
Isn’t this why the passage is read at both weddings and funerals? It upholds the loftiest ideal for love and
yet is so grounded in everyday life.
So what are the Christian love stories which are the antidotes for the
confused definitions of love which our culture tosses around?
We need look no further than the baptismal font and the promises we all
made today and on many other occasions to create a community where the love of
Christ is constantly evident in word and deed. The parents of these children
are called to deep commitment, and so are the rest of us.
We also witness the love stories in those who support one another
through the demanding aspects of mental and physical illness. Some of us need
constant prayer for patience and physical stamina as we try to address the
needs of those whose light is dimming day by day.
Every day that you come home from work and express thoughtfulness and
truly listen to your partner you live out your love story. Every time you let
go of a grudge that has festered away for a while. Every time you offer
encouragement to those who are uncertain about their gifts and skills.
When you think about it, not much of this is romantic or high-profile,
yet without the simple choices, the millions of little love stories, our world
would be a colder and less hospitable place.
One last thought today. We’re told that for retailers Mother’s Day is
the “numero uno” sales period of the year, other than Christmas. We bend over
backwards in our desire to be kind and considerate to our Moms, and of course
they deserve it! It might be too much to ask, but what if some element of this
day was reflected in each day, without fanfare.
All of the modest acts of love reflect the great love of Christ which
was expressed in forgiveness and generosity of spirit, all the way to the
cross. And in Christ we can change, we can become a new creation, we can find a
deeper strength.
This is Christ’s love story.