Attached at the Heart – Rev. Cathy Russell
John 14:1-14
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PRE-ATTACHMENTS
There’s a rumor around here that I’m getting married at the
end of May. In fact, it turns out that
in this case, the rumor is true. Lots of
you here have been married a while, and are no doubt marriage experts, but of
course, it’s an entirely new experience for both John and I, and the learning
curve may be pretty steep- but that’s ok.
Two weeks ago we went to our first session of pre-marital counseling in
We had a good couple of hours with our therapist, and then we filled out a pre- marriage questionnaire consisting of about 150 multiple choice questions. Normally I love to do quizzes, but this was hardly the 10 question “how hot is your romance?” calculator you would find in the back of Chatelaine. The whole visit was interesting but one of the most interesting points for me came when the therapist referred to some studies aimed at trying to discover, with the divorce rate at around 50%, just what is it that makes a successful marriage? Well you can imagine that if any of us knew the answer to that, we would immediately bottle it and sell it by the case.
ATTACHMENT IS AT THE HEART OF MARRIAGE
Turns out of course, none of the theories mention anything that can be seen by the eye or held in the hand, let alone swallowed with food or applied to the skin 3 times daily. One of the studies claimed that the real key was friendship- that if couples became and stayed friends with one another this would mean their marriage would last- seems pretty commonsensical doesn’t it? As long as you can be friends with one another, you’ll be happy together, even if some of the other stuff fades or drops away. The other study claimed that what really kept couples together was a basic attachment to one another. They didn’t even have to be friends, they could fight a lot, they could be poor communicators, they could have almost zero shared interests, (of course none of this applies to anyone here!) but as long as that sense of attachment was there, that affection of one for the other, that sense of safety and care in each other’s presence, then the marriage could still last and work. But if the attachment was disrupted for some reason, well, I know from my own growing up years how difficult and painful that can be.
You may know that attachment theory
comes from the field of early childhood development. Children who had the
experience of responsive parents during infancy were found to develop secure
warm attachments, whilst children who experienced less responsiveness parent
could become insecure, anxious or even seem cold and aloof. Now these more recent studies would seem to
show that attachment remains important to our relationships throughout our
adult lives as well. Attachment is at
the heart of what it means to be a human being.
ATTACHMENT IS AT THE HEART OF THE GOSPEL
In the gospel reading we get a really strong sense of the power of attachment between Jesus and his disciples. Setting aside all the mysterious language about where Jesus is going, and how to get there, and what God the Father looks like, you get Jesus, beloved teacher and friend, saying something that sounds like “I have to go”- and those who knew him, worked with him and loved him, saying “Please- don’t.” It’s a moment not only of real cosmic import, but of real shared intimacy as well. Turns out attachment to Jesus and the way of Jesus is at the heart of what it means to be a Christian. Now I know some of the claims Jesus makes in this passage, specifically in verse 6 “I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me” causes our inclusive United Church theology to go on yellow or even red alert, so let me just take a moment to share a story, that may turn down that early warning system. At a multi-faith gathering attended by one of our colleagues in ministry, a Buddhist monk was assigned this passage to read and give some brief comment. I can just imagine numerous polite, inclusive Canadian behinds shifting uncomfortably in their seats as he read verse 6. But as it turns out, he finished reading, closed the Bible and said “This scripture is absolutely true. It’s true because the way that Jesus was, is the only way to the divine.”
THE WAY JESUS WAS- ATTACHED AT THE HEART
And the way that Jesus was, was to be attached at the heart to God fully and completely. So fully and completely that he can say “ I am in the Father, and the Father is in me”. The way that Jesus was, was to be attached at the heart not only to the disciples but to the world, fully and completely. As fully and completely as God, who through Christ created that world and then through Jesus entered into it. We’re told in the prologue to John “In the beginning was the Word, all things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being.” And a little later on “For God so loved the world, that he sent his only Son”- not “For God so loved humanity, for God so loved the world”. The way Jesus was, was a way that brought God near to the world so that world could be brought near to God- the incarnation is just hugely important in John’s gospel.
Jesus way was to bridge the gap, heal the breach, mend the tear, so that through his way of peace and compassion and sacrifice and service, we might be attached to God’s heart, just as intimately as he was. So that like the securely attached child we would trust in God to be always near, always caring, always ready to respond to our cries. So that like the securely attached partner, though we may experience conflict and confusion, hurt and even anger throughout our relationship, we would still feel that underlying sense of being bonded to the irreplaceable lover in love. The way Jesus was, was to be attached at the heart to God and the world.
WE NEED TO BE RE-ATTACHED TO CREATION
Through our ministerial association, we had been encouraged to use this Sunday, to reflect on the theme of Care for Creation. But when I looked first at the gospel given for today, I thought I would have to pick something else, because these farewell words of Jesus didn’t seem to have a whole lot of application to the environment or global warming or reducing consumption. But when I took another look I realized that this was actually a great text to use, precisely because of these deep layers of mutual living attachment- of God to Jesus, Jesus to God, Jesus to the disciples, the disciples to Jesus, God to the world.
STORY
Because we can understand the environmental crisis in which we find ourselves today not only as a lack of knowledge or political will but as a spiritual crisis, a crisis of relationship, as a kind of attachment deficit disorder between us and our natural environment. We have become so de-tached from God’s creation, so used to seeing land and water and livings things in terms of their potential material, rather than their inherent spiritual value. When it comes to our relationship to the earth, we’ve lost, or at the very least lost touch with that basic sense of attachment to the beloved, with all the care, protection and delight that comes with it. And we know we have lost touch with it because the traditional understanding of indigenous peoples continually remind us that it was and is possible to feel and live out a deep sense of attachment to the earth and its creatures. Chief Seathl of the Duwamish people has said
“What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, men would die from great loneliness of spirit (my italics) for whatever happens to the beasts happens to man.”
Chief Seathl warns that detachment form the natural world is a spiritual crisis, with potentially disastrous spiritual consequences. It seems if this latest environmental movement is going to truly last, if it’s really bring about some lasting change in our practices, then we need to regain a sense of being attached at the heart to the life and the goodness of God’s creation.
A STORY ABOUT REGAINING OUR SENSE OF ATTACHMENT
Recently I was shopping at a store in which the owner had put up a sign indicating that plastic bags were no longer available to customers, and that we were invited to take one free re-useable cloth bag for our purchases instead. This person had made a business decision way ahead of any government legislation, which showed her desire, and encouraged a desire in her customers, to be more closely attached to creation. Interestingly, when I congratulated the proprietor on her forward thinking, she told me that although most customers shared my enthusiasm, she had a few who just couldn’t understand why she would stop giving out plastic bags to help the environment. One of these customers, in an effort to be helpful, even brought in a couple of dozen plastic bags so that she would have some to give away. A kindly meant act no doubt, but one that shows the kind of disconnect, and attachment deficit we need to overcome in our relationship to the earth.
The good news for us is that no one is better positioned to foster our reattachment to the earth than people of faith. No one is better positioned and no one bears more responsibility for this essential mission. If our current environmental crisis is at root a Spiritual Crisis, then it is only logical that those who regularly concern themselves with spiritual matters should be the place that proclaims, fosters and lives out of a deep attachment to God, to one another, and to the whole of God’s good creation. No one is better positioned or to affirm and model a lifestyle that demands some personal sacrifice than those who follow the way of the cross.
And best of all, as Jesus reassures those confused and anxious disciples, we can depend on God’s help to do that which we must do. Although Jesus is no longer physically with the disciples or us on the earth, our relationship with the risen Christ and with God in the power of the Spirit is stronger than ever. The reality of Easter means that the way that Jesus was has brought the world closer to God, bridged the gap, healed the bridge, mended the tear, and that way is the source and the foundation of our Christian hope, not just for us but for all of creation.
So maybe you’re wondering to yourself how you can start working on becoming more spiritually attached to creation, even when you’re not wandering through the woods or the mountains or standing on the seashore. Well here’s a simple one- every time you eat, say grace. Before every meal, whether you’re at home, or out in a restaurant, take a moment or two, either out loud or silently to be mindful that your food is a gift from God, a gift that came into being through Christ the Word, a gift that was blessed by the Spirit, a gift nourished in and by the earth, long before it reached your fridge your stove or your table. It’s such a simple thing, a brief sacrifice, but perhaps a first step to being the way that Jesus was, attached at the heart to God and to the world. THANKS BE TO GOD, AMEN.